It's all right, cause I'm saved by the bell. (da-nuh-da-na-nuh-nuh!)

I think it's only fair to be honest and tell you that the thing occupying the bulk of my downtime is not crafting, or reading, or intelligent conversations or baking. No. It's "Saved by the Bell". Yes, that classic Saturday morning show about floating through high school in the hip, happenin' nineties that is now available to the wide world via the magical cave of procrastination known as Netflix. I'm on Season 4 and I've only been at it for a week. I don't know whether to be impressed or mortified.

Either way, I love it. And I'm realizing with every twenty-minute episode how much this sublime showcase of teen life has impacted our current society. And so I present to you: The Things That Originated With Saved By The Bell.

The original frat tank: A.C. Slater. I mean his were tighter than the typical Greek member of 2012 prefers, but bicep-revealing tanks in a rainbow of hues are as cool now as they were when Mario Lopez had a mullet-fro.

The original hipster: Tori Spelling guest starring as Screech's nerdy lady friend, Violet. Seriously, y'all, my mind was blown on, like, three different levels when I 1) recognized Tori Spelling and 2) saw that she was wearing a dress that is totally vintage hipster-chic by today's standards and could ABSOLUTELY be hanging in the Urban Outfitters store window right now.

The original "Glee": Oh it's true. I took away all of Ryan Murphey's creativity points for "Glee" after I watched the Season 4 episode aptly entitled "The Glee Club" in which a group of attractive jocks (the show regulars) join a sad group of nerds (the glee club) and they magically find one nerdy break-out star (Rachel Berry... I mean Tori Spelling) and THEY WIN NATIONALS THE ALL-CITY SING!

The original Bella Swan: Kelly Kapowski. Maybe this is an unfair accusation, but Kel-girl spends at least two seasons moaning about how she can't pick between Slater and Zack. I'M OVER IT, KELLY. Granted, neither of the boys are mythical creatures, but Kelly cinches the comparison with a K. Stu-esque lack of personality and long brown hair. Come on. Try to tell me I'm wrong.

The original Louis Stephens: Screech Powers. Please tell me to my face that the guys at Disney  (who, interestingly, owned the rights to SBTB for a season or two)  didn't all but carbon copy Shia LeBouf's "Even Stephens" character from good old Screech. They even kind of dressed the same. And had the same hair. And made nerdy losers seem like the most adorable creatures on the planet.

The original giant bow in your hair (though you are not, in fact, six): Jessie Spano. Headbands, bows, giant flowers, she's got 'em. And she makes them look effortlessly classy. I am incredibly impressed. Well done, Miss Spano. (She also rocks the high-waisted jeans like a p-r-o. Jealous.)

The original Gossip Girl: Lisa Turtle. Except she's way nicer, way more lovable, and way less Michelle Trachtenberg. Still, Lisa knows everything (see the KKTY episode) and uses her power when necessary (see the 1-900 episode). Oh, and she's a fabulous dresser.

The original (and only) love of my life: Zack Morris. I die. I also ignore the fact that I'm basically in love with a sixteen-year-old nineties heartthrob who is now approaching 40 and is probably way less attractive than he was as a Bayside Tiger. But... he's just... so cute. And sassy. And perfect. So, if you're not a tall, skinny troublemaker with perfectly coiffed blonde hair and a wink that knocks the ladies off their feet, don't bother knocking on my door.