Everything.

My deepest desire is that 2014 be a year of spiritual growth the likes of which I have never experienced. Which is bold/terrifying, because I've noticed that when you ask for stuff like that, God goes COOL BRO, and throws all kinds of crazytown curve balls at you. So, there's that. But, hey, bring it on. I'm not arrogant enough to say I'm ready for it, but I trust that asking for a heart-level revival will result in blessing. Papa God, let's do this.

(Blog post,  January 8, 2014)

I think one of the most quoted verses in the Bible is the one about considering everything a loss for the sake of gaining Christ. Everyone is very down with saying, "Yes, give up all worldly things so you can be just like Jesus and have peace and joy and a big fancy sash." More often than not, the "everything" becomes "the bad stuff you want to do but shouldn't", and we leave it there.

But that passage in Philippians 3 is about much more than trying to be good like Jesus. It is, maybe, the most powerful, bold statement about faith that exists in the Bible. Read it, for real:

'What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead."

Paul is a man desperate to be as closely linked to his Savior as he possibly can. To not just be like Him, but to know Him in a intimate way that can only come from sharing His joys and sufferings. Think about it: you and your best friend have been through a lot together, haven't you? There have been tears, laughter, trials, major heartbreak, huge success. And, if you're good best friends, you were on that journey together. You went through the ups and downs together, because that's what friends do. I think Paul is saying he wants to be Jesus' best friend. To know Him absolutely as much as he can. 

And he takes it a step further. Paul says that anything outside of Christ is worth losing, if losing that thing means a more intimate knowledge of Jesus. Read it again. Anything outside of Christ is worth losing, if losing that thing means a more intimate knowledge of Jesus.

I've always skimmed over Philippians 3. I didn't understand the weight of Paul's words until very recently. And when I finally did, it was the sweetest moment of joy. A few weeks ago, in the middle of a hard week, I was driving down Old Hickory praying. In the middle of what was probably a very self-centered prayer for comfort, Paul's words came to mind. "I consider everything a loss for the sake of gaining Christ," followed very quickly by the settled feeling in the pit of my stomach I'm beginning to recognize as God's presence (which is maybe the hippie dippiest thing I have ever written, but I'm tellin' ya it's true). And I burst into tears and started laughing all at once, because God is so good. I wrote in January that I wanted to be recreated. That I wanted to know Christ more. In essence, I wrote my own Philippians 3. Friends, THE LORD ANSWERED. He answered by taking away the things that were making me comfortable. He answered by asking me to give up the things I loved best at the time. He answered by asking me to step out in faith. He answered by letting me hit rock bottom, over and over again, so hard my teeth rattled. He answered by dragging me to the very end of my rope. He answered by letting me drown. Because to know Christ's suffering means we must also suffer. There is no way to grow in faith without going though the valley.

But He also answered by rescuing me out of my darkest places, over and over. He led me through the valley, never letting go of my hand. He taught my heart how to trust, and how to sing in every circumstance. He showed me what grace looks like, and what relentless love looks like. Yes, relentless was the word of 2014. On my bad days, I would have said 2014 was a year of relentless suffering. And it was. But I only have to zoom out a little to see that, ultimately, it was a year of Christ's relentless love for His girl. For me. No truth could be more evident.

So as this year ends, and a new one shines bright with promise and hope, I'm lifting up major praise hands. Grateful hands, and a heart that feels the beauty of life even more now that it has known suffering. The valleys of this year will always hold a tender place, because they were the fruit of a big prayer. A prayer I'm not sure I expected to be answered. But it was, and in the answer I was given the very best thing. An intimate knowledge of my Jesus, and His love. And if all of this year was to bring me to that  point, then it was worth it a thousand times over. Because nothing, nothing, surpasses the greatness of knowing Jesus Christ, my Lord.

Happy New Year.