I spent some solid hot chocolate time with two dear friends this weekend. Emma is my actual little sister, and Jamie pretty much counts as a little sister, too, yet I am continually astounded by what I learn from both of them. They have big wisdom, and they are both stepping into the world with courage, independence and contagious joy. Big sister brag, I know, but seriously. They teach me well. We talked a lot about our dreams, plans and goals for the upcoming year. As we talked, the word that continued to come up was intentional. All three of us came up with things we want to be more purposeful about this year. To be intentional means to do things on purpose, deliberately. It's a strong word, full of vigor and confidence and steadiness. An intentional life has all the ingredients of being a full life, in the very best ways. Because if we're being intentional, we miss less. You know?
The following is the collaborative effort of three hot chocolates, three minds, and three hearts set on doing life on purpose:
1) Treat yo'self. With little things, yes, like new hats and Jeni's ice cream and coffee. But I think, also, treating yourself is doing what your heart wants. Maybe it's making a list of things you love doing but never do. Like canoeing, or hiking, or reading Little Women for a whole afternoon, or going to the museum. The kinds of things that feed your soul, things that you were created to love, but don't ever make time for. When we rush from commitment to commitment and forget to leave time for treats, I think we're missing out on special gifts from our Maker. He wired little loves into our hearts, love of art, or nature, or creating, and He wants us to enjoy those things. So make it a point to treat yourself to things you love. Carve out the time to fill your soul tank with joy. It will probably make the commitments and drudgery of the day-to-day a little more magical.
2) More coffee dates. Emma shared her desire to intentionally pursue relationships with others, specifically making time to seek people out for one-on-one time. She's a busy girl, but she's realizing the importance of setting aside time to connect. I have the opposite problem; I try to cram too many coffee hangs in one day, and end up rushing from one person to the next without really taking time to listen. Somewhere in there is a middle ground. Making time to invest, and then really taking the time to invest well. Maybe that looks like two or three afternoons a week set aside for one-on-one time with people you don't see in your daily comings and goings. Maybe it's calling your mom every Sunday afternoon, not just for five minutes on your way to work. Maybe it's just following up with that one girl you meant to hang out with three months ago, and never got around to calling. Whatever pursuit looks like, do it on purpose.
3) Cut out self-absorption. This was my contribution. I am the very guiltiest of being incredibly self-focused. It's a habit I've only recently become aware of, and so far I'm horrified. It's time to make war on the part of my brain that is constantly focused on me. It's like that part of Mia's speech in "The Princess Diaries": "And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word 'I.' And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there's like seven billion other people out there on the planet? But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time." I'm over spending all my time obsessing about how everyone affects me, and I think it's time to start worrying about the affect I'm having on others.
4) Fly solo. No, this does not mean sign a contract to be single all year. Nobody's got time for that, y'all. What it means is this: figure out who you are and how you tick. This means recognizing your flaws, too. Know what things trip you up, and what things you'll have to battle. Dig in, fearlessly. Face your ghosts, one at a time. Become comfortable with independence, and don't abandon yourself. Don't go for utterly self-reliant, because what I know now is self-reliance builds walls that are nearly impossible to break down. But do know that you can handle it, and you are awesome all by yourself. Pro tip: I'm coming to find that digging into myself actually means leaning into Jesus, and letting Him empty what needs to be emptied and fill what needs to be filled. The more I know Him, the more He reveals about who I am.
5) Foster financial peace. Very practically speaking, I need to learn how to manage my bank account, my bills, and my cash flow. Say no to assuming, say yes to double checking. That is my new financial motto. Because, frankly, too many little things became big things last year because I straight up wasn't paying attention. Oops. No more! 2015 is the year of organizing all the little details and being a good grown-ass adult.
So this year is about intentionality, in all areas. I'm looking up and out, eyes bright, heart full. This is going to be good. I'm ready if You are, Jesus.
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