When I was in college, I found my grandpa's daily devotional book. It was My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. Each dated page has a short verse, and a few paragraphs of reflection (sometimes rebuke), and wisdom. I know he's not God, but Oswald knows what's up. I bought myself a copy of My Utmost, and have been using it on and off for about six years. It's interesting (and hilarious, perfect, etc.) how timely certain entries have been. I can forget to read for a week, then pick it up and BAM, my world is rocked by some soul-revealing truth. The Lord works in mysterious ways, am I right?
For the past week or so, Oswald's theme has been about vision. Or, more accurately, what to do when God gives us a vision, and we lose sight of it when the waves start rolling. To say that theme is applicable to my heart is an understatement. So, here is my unpacking of Oswald, Jesus, and vision, part one.
On June 27, Oswald's verse of choice was from Jeremiah. "'...I am with you to deliver you,' says the Lord."
Jeremiah 1 is the story of Jeremiah's calling. God says, "Hey, dude, it's Me. It's time to do what I made you to do."
Okay, first off, that is huge. Huge. I am reminded of the scene in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, when Aslan crowns the four Pevensie kids kings and queens of Narnia. They were clueless, ill-prepared and afraid. They were children. But Aslan made them royalty, and prepared them to fulfill their roles. He bestowed upon them dignity, power, and identity, even though they didn't deserve it or earn it. God works the same way, I think. He delights in using us, though we are broken people. He has a vision specific to you, and He shares it with you and promises to prepare you for it.
Initially, Jeremiah's all like, "Umm, I can't do all that. It sounds hard and I'm scared. Everyone will be mean to me."
Because humans get scared real quick. We see the vision, or part of the vision, and we're like UM NO THANK YOU I CAN'T EVEN. Maybe because we imagine trying to handle it in our own strength. I've noticed that more often than not, God's plan for a person's life is far grander than anything they would have concocted alone. Not grand in the sense of pearls and velvet and fame. But He knows that, by His power, we are capable of more than we think.
God responds to Jeremiah, "I will protect you. Do what I'm asking of you, and I will protect you. Don't worry about defending yourself, protecting yourself, or seeking justice for yourself. Just carry on in what I tell you to do, and I will handle the rest."
I am a huge proponent of seeking justice. I do it selfishly all the time. If I feel I have been wronged, I have the hardest (hhhaaarrrdddeeessst) time letting it go. On the outside, that seems totally normal, even okay. Of course I'm allowed to be mad at the man who broke my heart. Of course I can be frustrated by a friend who has treated me poorly. There is every kind of justification in the world for holding on to hurt feelings. It's righteous anger, right? It's okay to be mad at a situation that is bad.
But... "I am with you to deliver you."
Wait. What? You mean it's not up to me to seek justice? It's not my job to fight for myself? Nope. Nope it's not. Oswald wrote, "Wherever God sends us, He will guard our lives...looking for justice is actually a sign that we have been diverted from our devotion to Him." Y'all. That right there is the BIGGEST relief. Know what it means? It means I don't have to hold on to grudges in an attempt to rectify injustice. If a situation needs to be dealt with, God will make it happen. He is in the ring for me; I don't have to fight my own battles. I can focus on the vision. If I follow the Lord, and listen for His voice, and carry on in the work He has put before me, He will handle the hard stuff.
It's maybe the most freeing lesson I've ever learned. If God is fighting for me, two things become true:
1) There's no way I'm going to lose. If God is for me, who (seriously who?!) can be against me? Courage comes from the bone-deep knowledge that, ultimately, God wins. And if He wins, I win.
2) I can focus outward, and quit worrying about myself so much. Self-pity and self-seeking justice are unnecessary in light of God's promise to deliver. There is freedom to get out there and try, freedom to fail, and freedom to love big. There is freedom to forgive, too.
When God reveals the vision, step one is to agree to follow Him. To give up the need for control, and wholeheartedly walk into whatever He asks. The great thing is, we don't have to walk forward without the assurance that He is walking with us.
"I am with you to deliver you."
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