To create.

I am bad at resolutions. This is probably due to the lack of self-discipline that is (unfortunately) prominent in a lot of areas in my life (Oops. Thank God I have a naturally fast metabolism, because I can't stick to a diet for anything). Maybe it's just because I never write my resolutions down, and they are promptly forgotten. Either way. I am bad at resolutions.

A family friend has my same trouble, so she and her family have abandoned New Year's resolutions completely. Instead, each family member picks a word for the new year. Any word. A word that illustrates what they want to see happen over the next 365 days. A word that will inspire.

BRILLIANT.
(No, that's not my word, that's how I felt about picking a word)

This year will be a year of adventure. Of new things. Of learning and growing and change. So I picked the word create.

cre·ate

verb (used with object), cre·at·ed, cre·at·ing.

1.

to cause to come into being, as something unique that would not 
naturally evolve or that is not made by ordinary processes.

2.

to evolve from one's own thought or imagination, as a work of art or an invention.

3.

Theater. to perform (a role) for the first time or in the first production of a play.

4.

to make by investing with new rank or by designating; constitute; 
appoint.

5.

to be the cause or occasion of; give rise to.

Here's why:

I want to create community. If there is one thing I've learned since graduating, it is that community is much harder to come by in the drowsy, workaday real world. We're all tired, we all work hard, we're all broke. It's easier to sit at home and watch reruns of Barefoot Contessa and drink tea. But what is life without real, vibrant, close-knit community? It's boring, mostly, but it's also a little sad. And it's dangerous. We are created to be social beings. When our day-to-days lack consistent community and accountability, it is easy to lose sight of truth. If no one is there to be your wingman, it's way easier to be foolish. Also, going to Target alone is not nearly as fun as going with your bosom buddy. (Here's looking at you, Brittney).

I want to create art. There was a moment (such a brief moment) when I was all, "naaah, I don't need theatre. That's not steady, or lucrative, or grown-up." OH HOW WRONG WAS I. I hit (yet another) quarter life crisis recently, during which I realized I am living for my paycheck. I'm not doing what I love. My work is enjoyable, but it's not anything I'm passionate about. I sat back, after this horrifying realization, and was all, "Oh, great. Now what?!" Then I Googled every theatre and arts organization in Nashville. Because, frankly, what I love is the fantastical, imaginative, beautiful world of artists and dreamers. I believe wholeheartedly that art can, and will, change the world. And I want to be a part of it.

Finally, I want to be recreated. The last year and a half has been a challange spiritually. I went to some dark places, and made silly choices. My little heart is not much worse for the wear (if anything I just learned from experience), but I am beat. My deepest desire is that 2014 be a year of spiritual growth the likes of which I have never experienced. Which is bold/terrifying, because I've noticed that when you ask for stuff like that, God goes COOL BRO, and throws all kinds of crazytown curve balls at you. So, there's that. But, hey, bring it on. I'm not arrogant enough to say I'm ready for it, but I trust that asking for a heart-level revival will result in blessing. Papa God, let's do this.

So, here it goes. A creative year that will challenge my heart, mind, body and soul. 

I'll keep you posted.